If It Feels Good Do It

What did you notice the last time you were in Safeway?
My latest video is all about what I noticed. It’s on Safeway.

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Thursday night in the United States of America.
I intended to get drunk. I met up with D for dinner. During dinner we had a few beers. Then we had some wine. Then we had a few shots of bulbash, alcohol that D imported. Then we went to a bar. We met a girl. She was [...]

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Some people invite me to their parties. They think I’ll shave ahead of time. They think I won’t get drunk when I’m there. They especially think I won’t show up and hit on girls in that condition.
Some people are wrong, wrong, and especially wrong!
As you know, I went to a Googlers barbecue recently. It [...]

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One month ago on July 12th, I arrived in Irvine.
That seems like a million years ago.
My phone could not hold any more text messages, so I deleted them.
Since that time I have received 691 text messages. I know because there are 691 messages in my inbox. It’s a good thing I have the unlimited plan. [...]

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SOUTH OF HEAVEN
Saturday we had all sorts of plans. We would read some online Burning Man literature and practice building our shelter.
Instead Justin and I just shot guns and rolled stuff off of cliffs.

Generally we did absolutely nothing constructive whatsoever.
Oh, and at night we drove my truck to a more remote area of Justin’s parent’s [...]

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BEST COMMENT PROVIDING EVIDENCE THAT SOMEONE TAKES MY EVALUATION OF COMMENTS TOO SERIOUSLY
Allen on Favorite Reader Comments, June 2008
I’m thinking about working on my candidacy for worst comments now. Hm…
BEST BLAH BLAH BLAH WITH SOME COMPLIMENTS THROWN IN BUT THEN HEY IT’S ALL ABOUT ME AND HERE’S A LINK TO SOMETHING I WROTE [...]

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On July 28th my subscriber count doubled. At first I couldn’t account for the sudden spike in readership. Then I remembered something (barely) about that night I got stoned with my lawyer.
Before we got high we went to a bar in San Francisco and saw an 80s cover band play. The band finished their set [...]

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RENDEZVOUS II
I woke up at the Wild Wild West Hotel. I extricated myself from it.
I checked into the Hard Rock. My room would not be ready for a few hours. I called my ex ex girlfriend’s girlfriend and told her where I was. She drove over to pick me up.
While I was waiting A called [...]

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The title is complete bullshit. Well, maybe not complete bullshit. But the content is the true story of my life. I was inspired by thebaglady’s continuing translations of her Dad’s story, Fifteen Years In America and motivated by this comment that I left regarding it.
When we moved from Sunnyvale to Benicia it was like someone [...]

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