If say, hypothetically speaking there was a girl I loved and I wrote her an email regarding the first few days of my trip to Japan, an excerpt of that email might go a little something like the text below.
Yesterday I wanted to check my email but we couldn’t get my friend’s computer to work. My friend’s name is Taka. We couldn’t get Taka’s computer to work. Well, not until it was time to eat dinner with his family. And this, you must understand my sweet sweet darling who I love so much, is a long and drawn out process involving multiple courses of some of the best food I have ever had in my life, taken alongside copious amounts of beer, whiskey, soju with oolong tea (oolong high), and sake. This happens nightly. And when I say family, I mean Taka’s brother, sister-in-law, girlfriend, and last but not least, mother and father. I get pretty drunk and inject the room with stories that provide some cultural insight, but mostly are just weird jokes told using various accents. They can’t get enough of it. Like, for example I’ll scoop some noodles and they’ll say “Ok, how about Igirisu (British)?” And then while scooping I will say “oh noooooo, it does appear, if you would grant me leave to speak freely that these noodles are very, hmmmm, very browwwwwwn please,” in the PBS-mystery-style manner which you are intimately familiar, and use other words and phrases and actions which generally characterise a British person or my version thereof. Taka will almost fall out of his chair and his father will laugh and ask for linguistic clarification regarding the essence of the given characterizations. Then they will say “ok, America-jin (American person)” and I will act like a rough and tumble badboy of an American, gruffly telling them to sit down and shut up eat the goddamn noodles while slamming tablewares on the table. There are some derivatives, such as a quasi-James Cagney era gangster “I’m going to come to your house, see… And then we’re going to go on a little trip, see… And it’s not going to be a vacation… Because you’re going to be in the trunk of my car, see! So you better have the money! You got that!!!!!!” voice. Usually, believe it or not, this is all somehow related to an explanation of the appropriateness of a common English phrase (e.g. “you got that”) but it quickly morphs into something else that is absolutely ridiculous.
But to them it’s exotic. I’m like a semi-bilingual Ferrari with a sense of humor. Or ok, at least a Renault. Ok, something in between. Maybe a classic American muscle car. But anyways, my point is that my host family has been extremely kind to me. Actually, “extremely kind” is an understatement. Taka’s father literally told me “please stay here forever,” a few times and asked if my return ticket has a fixed date.
And dinner goes on in this manner until around one in the morning. And that’s my life here. Or well, about half of it. During the day we go to do some sight-seeing. Like yesterday we went to Kamakura to see the daibutsu (big Buddha) and that was tight. I never realized this but you can actually go inside the statue. It was the shit.
4 responses so far ↓
1 ally // Jan 7, 2009 at 1:55 am
I’ve been in there! But it was during a heatwave and it was quite hot & stuffy.
Tally-ho, dear ol’ chap!!
2 Allen // Jan 7, 2009 at 11:07 am
Hypothetical love. Hmm.
Kamakura is very cool, including visiting the depths of the Buddah belly. I hope you were able to visit a shrine around there too; I saw the best I’ve seen at that location. Makes for cool photos too.
Well, more than hypothetically, I’m glad you’re having a great trip.
3 thebaglady // Jan 7, 2009 at 4:28 pm
that sounds hilarious..japanese people have very strange sense of humor
4 lou // Jan 9, 2009 at 2:56 pm
thebaglady: Ian Bowman has a very strange sense of humor. Perfect match for the japanese i guess.
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