If It Feels Good Do It

Someday I will post a list. It will be called Things Increasingly Vogue To Hate That I Don’t. Toward the top of that list — containing Britney Spears, light beer and Christian people — will be twitter.

Twitter.

I originally read about it in the Economist. I checked it out. I thought it was cool. I started to use it. But at that point I didn’t know anyone else that used it, which was weak. So I didn’t use it much. Plus any time I told any of my friends about it they’d say something like:

WHAT? WHY THE FUCK WOULD I NEED YET ANOTHER FUCKING THING LIKE THAT IN MY LIFE?

Like what?

LIKE THAT! POINTLESS TECHNOLOGICAL SHIT!

Oh. Well, I don’t know. I think the idea is kind of cool. I can for example set it up so that it will text me when my friends update their status.

FUCK THAT! I’M NOT A BIG FAN OF “I JUST FARTED” TECHNOLOGY!

Oh. Alright.

And now it’s quickly becoming stylish to hate twitter. And to say that twitter is pointless.

But I don’t hate twitter. I don’t think it’s pointless.

Look: I am a rational man. Using series of logical statements, I will prove that there is a point to the existence of twitter.

Observe the following four not quite noble truths. Uh. Of twitter.

1. People are either geniuses at writing interesting things using no more than 140 characters, or they are not geniuses at that.
   
   See? Either they are or they aren’t. One or the other. I told you this would be logical.
2. Twitter is the perfect venue for concise geniuses.
   
   Sometimes I enjoy merely reading my friend’s opinions.
   
   “mcvixx: the wrestler is a very very good movie”
   
   Other times my friends crack me the eff up.
   
   “mcvixx: i just spilled hot pizza toppings all over my chest… and i TOOK THAT SHIT just like the wrestler would”
   
   “mcvixx: i hate myself as much as the wrestler hates himself”
   
   “mcvixx: just died on purpose”
   
   “mcvixx: bye”
3. Many people are not geniuses at using only 140 characters.
   
   There are those with extremely verbose communication styles. They rarely get to the point of whatever the fuck they are trying to say. And usually when they do get to the point, we promptly realize that both the point and the style of communication sucked.
   
   Most people in this category hate twitter. They feel restricted by the 140 character limit. So, they don’t use twitter.That’s fine with me. But out of the few in this category that do use twitter, at least now we are only exposed to 140 characters of their indirect, nebulous verbiage at a given time.
4. Mobile updates are good.
   
   With twitter I can turn on mobile updates so that my friend’s status will be texted to me. And that’s good. Wait. I already said that. Oh but I also like that I can text in twitter updates. And I like texting. I admit it. Twitter is among other things, a way to text a bunch of people at once. Which is actually my point.

But first, an exclusive report.

BOWMAN EXCLUSIVE REPORT

I’m going to New Orleans and shit. In a Winnebago. With David Braheney.

Planned stops along the way include The Grand Canyon, Austin, Texas and a few other places I’ve never been.

Obviously, I’m pumped.

We’re leaving in a few hours.

THIS CONCLUDES THE BOWMAN EXCLUSIVE REPORT

Anyways, I will be gone for approximately two weeks. During that time I will have limited internet access, and posting to ifitfeelsgooddoit.com might be difficult.

Or maybe it won’t be. Whatever. Who cares. The point is that if you head on over to my twitter page you will have access to updates regarding my trip and stuff. As I said I will be able update using my cell phone, from anywhere.

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