These days when I feel like getting high — which is often — I read SciFi. I’ve been reading this Science Fiction Hall of Fame, Volume One
I like everything in the book except the first sentence of the introduction, written by Robert Silverberg.
Here it is:
This is as nearly definitive an anthology of modern science fiction stories as is likely to be compiled for quite some time.
Fuck that sentence. Nearly definitive. Fuck that. As is likely to be. Fuck that. Quite some time. Fuck that too.
People ask me for writing advice. Here’s my advice: don’t ever write a sentence like that.
Instead write two sentences like this:
This science fiction anthology is definitive. Tilt your head back and yell.
People also ask me what I do during the day. They ask me that a lot.
“What do you do during the day?”
Here’s a rough outline of my schedule:
8 AM: Wake up.
10 AM – 3 PM: Look for a job.
3 PM: Go to the gym or run.
4 PM: Write and goof off with an emphasis on goofing off.
When I eat lunch or dinner I watch TV shows on the internet. Then I’ll go outside. Then I’ll walk down the street. Then I’ll hear one of the following: 1. A baby cry in the distance. 2. A siren. 3. An ice cream truck. Then I’ll feel like someone is going to open up automatic gunfire. And that’s because sunshine and ambient neighborhood noise precipitate violence in Miami Vice.
Finally, people ask me how I’m doing these days. A lot. And believe it or not I’m doing well. Quite well. And thank you for asking.
<3 <3 <3
2 responses so far ↓
1 Ross // Jul 22, 2009 at 3:35 pm
Well, you can never schedule too much sci fi.
Alas, your schedule has inspired me to add something to mine:
4P.M. Goof off (loudly announce goof off time has begun, do a robot dance and talk in a robot voice)
4:14P.M. End goof off time (by annoucing good off time has ended, stop all dancing/talking)
2 Allen // Jul 22, 2009 at 5:37 pm
Telling people they should say something and take a stand in their writing is a great thing. Do you ever hear all 3 of the things on the list at the same time? What happens then? Is there a story there? Could I possibly write more questions here?
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