If It Feels Good Do It

What did you notice the last time you were in Safeway?
My latest video is all about what I noticed. It’s on Safeway.

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A CONVERSATION WITH THEM ON GOOGLE TALK GOES A LITTLE SOMETHING LIKE THIS
me: got a DS
just arrived
nintendo DS i mean

leon: cool. now you can play nintendogs
do coke
bang hot chicks
Dude. Leon, I like the way you think. Sounds like a winning combo.
ADDITIONAL CORRESPONDENCE FROM YESTERDAY
I received two text messages from my sweet ex [...]

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I spent half of Saturday recovering from a drunk and stoned Friday night. In other words, I took a nap.
The other half I spent at two different barbecues. Sum total of evites for the weekend was three, including my lawyer’s birthday celebration on Friday. Just try to beat that shit. You can’t.
I DON’T KNOW [...]

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The following is part of an online chat I had at work yesterday with a good friend of mine. It was a typical exchange. He works at Pixar.
me: did you help work on wall-e in any way shape or form?
(talking to girl about wall-e so it would be a lot cooler if you did)
AC: haha [...]

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A lot of people gossip about me.
Maybe they simply see things differently. I mean like, literally. They have gossip vision.
That’s what my latest video is all about.

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For Judas Priest’s Defenders Of The Faith, we’re going back to the ultimate year of 80s metal, or well, 80s anything: 1984.
DISTINGUISHING CHARACTERISTIC
You can’t tell a book by it’s cover, but you can tell an 80s metal record by it’s jacket.

What sort of faith does this rip-off Voltron have? Does he have any faith, or [...]

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Allen sent me a great piece of corporate b.s. It is a press release from EFI, a company that I used to work for.
First, let me demonstrate how I would have written it.

Efi Selling Land And Buildings
FOSTER CITY, Calif.–(BUSINESS WIRE)–May 29, 2008–EFI (NASDAQ:EFII), fucked up.
They bought a bunch of land before. Now they don’t have [...]

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[WARNING: The images in the post are definitely NSFW.]
Last Sunday I was at an undisclosed location with my good friend, Allen. Well, we were close to the SFO airport, but that’s all I’m going to tell you for free.
Oh yeah, and we were in a store. Inside the store were stacks and boxes of used [...]

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Consumerism is in a category, along with cheese and porno, where the best of it is remarkably similar to the worst of it. Case in point: the extremely successful consumer haven known as the Dollar Tree.
WELCOME TO THE JUNGLE
The first thing you notice when you walk in is how everything is “arranged.”
When it comes to [...]

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