If It Feels Good Do It

Most people say nothing important when they’re talking to me. They go on and on, blah blah blah talking nonsense without getting to the point. Even worse is when after all that irrelevant noise, they expect me to treat them like they’ve done something interesting.
The other day some dumbass came over to my new apartment. [...]

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Recently I get asked a lot if I still like my job. The answer is: yep. It seems like people are expecting me to get sick of my job and go crazy. Then write about it. I don’t blame people for thinking that. I used to wonder the same thing. Or worry about it.
But now [...]

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I’m color blind. That’s something you probably don’t know about me. And I file that aspect of myself under, “cons.”
One popular trend is to justify human attributes with the theory of evolution. Actually I believe so strongly in the theory of evolution, it feels silly calling it a theory. But using evolution to justify weakness [...]

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When that company fired me in September of 2008, I was devastated. I had never been fired before. The work at my prior job was boring, but they liked me. Now suddenly here I had done nothing right. I had been making around $100k. It was a lot of income to say goodbye to.
What hurt [...]

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I have two roommates. One of them is Daniel. I rent my room from him for $500 including all utilities. My other roommate is Silas. I’m better friends with Silas.
But I like Daniel too. He looks, sounds and acts a lot like Hart Bochner in Die Hard.
In Die Hard, Hart Brochner plays Harry Ellis. Harry Ellis [...]

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I have two fans in my room. One is a ceiling fan, the other a window fan.
In June I moved in and heard them whirling. Whirling. Whirling.  All day, all night. Always whirling.
By July I didn’t notice the fans any more. I left them on at all hours of the day. I, who was not used [...]

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In the first two years of high school I wasn’t workin with much. In the second two, I worked with Repo Man.
Some people had a lot of friends. I had few. Some guys were in a band. They were cool. Or they could skateboard good. I couldn’t skateboard good. I could just skateboard. Or they [...]

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Dear Ian,
Customer Number: XXXXXXX888

Your account may be charged

Contact us immediately.
It’s been over two years since you’ve accessed your ING DIRECT account(s). As a rule of thumb, it’s best to contact your bank at least once a year to verify that all your information is up to date and that no security issues have come up.
…
If [...]

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Boring
A few nights later I went back to Fern’s. It was a Friday.
Same skate stickers. Same 25 oz Busch. Same dude who was there a few days prior. Apparently.
“Hey!” some dude said. “You were here a few days ago! You came up and talked to me.”
“…Yes! Thank you for remembering. Please excuse me for forgetting [...]

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Whatever beer is cheap.
That’s how my conversation with the bartender began.
Most legs drove me crazy at that time. This was two days ago. The bartender’s legs drove me crazy at that time. This was two days ago. She wore a short dress to make sure she drove me crazy. She walked to the other side [...]

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