If It Feels Good Do It

Thursday night in the United States of America.
I intended to get drunk. I met up with D for dinner. During dinner we had a few beers. Then we had some wine. Then we had a few shots of bulbash, alcohol that D imported. Then we went to a bar. We met a girl. She was [...]

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Some people invite me to their parties. They think I’ll shave ahead of time. They think I won’t get drunk when I’m there. They especially think I won’t show up and hit on girls in that condition.
Some people are wrong, wrong, and especially wrong!
As you know, I went to a Googlers barbecue recently. It [...]

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One month ago on July 12th, I arrived in Irvine.
That seems like a million years ago.
My phone could not hold any more text messages, so I deleted them.
Since that time I have received 691 text messages. I know because there are 691 messages in my inbox. It’s a good thing I have the unlimited plan. [...]

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SOUTH OF HEAVEN
Saturday we had all sorts of plans. We would read some online Burning Man literature and practice building our shelter.
Instead Justin and I just shot guns and rolled stuff off of cliffs.

Generally we did absolutely nothing constructive whatsoever.
Oh, and at night we drove my truck to a more remote area of Justin’s parent’s [...]

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On July 28th my subscriber count doubled. At first I couldn’t account for the sudden spike in readership. Then I remembered something (barely) about that night I got stoned with my lawyer.
Before we got high we went to a bar in San Francisco and saw an 80s cover band play. The band finished their set [...]

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RENDEZVOUS II
I woke up at the Wild Wild West Hotel. I extricated myself from it.
I checked into the Hard Rock. My room would not be ready for a few hours. I called my ex ex girlfriend’s girlfriend and told her where I was. She drove over to pick me up.
While I was waiting A called [...]

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The title is complete bullshit. Well, maybe not complete bullshit. But the content is the true story of my life. I was inspired by thebaglady’s continuing translations of her Dad’s story, Fifteen Years In America and motivated by this comment that I left regarding it.
When we moved from Sunnyvale to Benicia it was like someone [...]

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A CONVERSATION WITH THEM ON GOOGLE TALK GOES A LITTLE SOMETHING LIKE THIS
me: got a DS
just arrived
nintendo DS i mean

leon: cool. now you can play nintendogs
do coke
bang hot chicks
Dude. Leon, I like the way you think. Sounds like a winning combo.
ADDITIONAL CORRESPONDENCE FROM YESTERDAY
I received two text messages from my sweet ex [...]

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On Monday I had an emotional moment. I sold my motorcycle.
I took a picture of it before I rode it to work for the last time.

But it is in good hands now. I sold it to my co-worker and good friend Hoang. After he bought it he immediately took it from work to the gas [...]

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I spent half of Saturday recovering from a drunk and stoned Friday night. In other words, I took a nap.
The other half I spent at two different barbecues. Sum total of evites for the weekend was three, including my lawyer’s birthday celebration on Friday. Just try to beat that shit. You can’t.
I DON’T KNOW [...]

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